The last two tenets of Positivity and Self-Love are so closely related that I decided to combine them into one blog post. Using affirmations to speak positivity over our life is a form of self-love, indeed. And, it feels so good, right?! I must admit, however, out of the Five Love Languages, Words of Affirmation is always DEAD last for me. Of course, it is nice to be affirmed but it’s not what I have typically needed to be shown love. What has been so interesting is how over the past few years, I have begun to witness more the power of words – whether it be from others or from myself. For example, in 2020 I participated in 2 meditation challenges and read, The Secret. What those challenges along with the book ultimately provided for me was how to speak positivity and attract the abundance that I deserve. For me, going through challenges of life – joblessness, uncertainty, and relationship frustrations – has prepared me for the positive times that manifested first through the words of affirmations I spoke over myself and my situations. And, when I put into practice what I’ve learned – like honoring my feelings, being mindful of the place I am currently in, and knowing that I have the power and tools to attract what I want – I am reminded that there is authority in my words.
I was recently reminded of the power of affirmations when my therapist encouraged me to use them as a way to lift my spirits. She not only poured into me, she challenged me to practice consistency by having me complete 30 days of affirmations. I asked my cousins to join me. Every day we sent our personal affirmations in our group chat. It was one of the most beautiful and touching moments of connection I’ve experienced. It was a firm reminder of the power of words, especially when those words are collectively used for uplift and progression.
The power of words also got really-real for me recently when I tearfully shared with a friend from my investment group that I was thinking about leaving my job for the sake of my sanity and peace. In place of the judgment I feared she would give, she spoke life into me and told me that I was worthy and capable. And, she is right because I reminded myself, “Girl, you know how to make money!” I was able to immediately bask in my strength again from that simple practice of verbal encouragement. It is truly amazing to feel the benefits of positivity and affirmation. Not only was I making it a practice to pour into myself daily, I was surrounded by people who were also committed to affirming me. I was receiving a double portion of love!
Being positive is an easy way to show self-love. However, the only way to reap the benefits of this tenet is to be intentional about putting it into action, no matter how big or how small the thought may be. In moments of feelings such as uncertainty, guilt, disappointment, and confusion, repeating an affirmation helps to refocus the energy and the mind. Try it and see how transformational it is.
Use simple phrases such as:
“I am strong, resilient and will get through this difficult time.”
“I forgive myself for __________.”
“I am loved, loving, and lovable.”
“I am resourceful and attract what I need to be prosperous and successful.”
There are also other ways to practice self-love. Choose activities, times, and places that you enjoy so that you can be intentional about self-love. This is likely the tenet I practice the most. If I am invited on a trip with my girlfriends, I typically say yes. I make sure I have regular appointments to get my hair and nails done. I also enjoy spa days, time in my garden, and taking hikes. Taking care of myself and doing things I enjoy is my favorite way to make myself a priority. I realized that I (you) cannot be good for others (family, friends, work) if I (you) are not good to myself (yourself).
What I’ve learned:
Staying positive in the midst of life’s challenges is not always easy, but small affirmations and positive thoughts help get through hard times. There may be situations where I don’t have the energy or am not in the right mind space to use affirmations. I confide in people I trust to affirm me. This approach has been equally effective.
I don’t have to feel guilty for taking time to myself. As a mother and wife, there have been times when I’ve felt bad for using resources (mainly time and money) to practice self-love. I realized that I cannot operate from an empty cup. I cannot continuously give without replenishing. In order to be a loving and effective wife/mother, it’s important that I make staying refreshed a priority.
How you can use Positivity and Self-love to make yourself a priority:
Regularly use affirmations to stay uplifted. Write your own and maybe even post them in your home or at your workspace as a reminder. There are books and journals full of affirmations which can help you make this a daily habit. You can also find inspiring affirmations on Instagram.
When you are going through a challenging time, honor the space you are in and use words to change negative into positive. Rely on close friends, family, or your therapist to pour into you if you can’t find the words yourself.
Regularly and intentionally practice self-love. Decide what you enjoy doing and what you need to feel loved, schedule the time without any interruptions. Give yourself grace if you must say no to someone else in order to say yes to you! You deserve it!